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Fun With E-Mail!

Heh, I was just going through some old files in my computer and found this...


Disclaimer: *sobs* I...just found out that I still do not own SGA.
My heart is breaking.

Summary: What happens when the SGA team form their own little
message board and e-mail system?

Pairings: McWeir! Sheyla! *smiles benevolently on the four people*
aw, ain't they cute?
Rating: PG

A/N: Okay, it's like two a.m. and I'm bored. I couldn't write on "Of
Chocolate and Babies either" but I had to do /something/. It isn't
really a fic, per se, but...well...oh just read it!

"E-Mail"

From: rmckay@atlantis.sg
Subject: Atlantis Message Board Now Open and Ready For Business

Thanks to me, you're resident genius and all-round good guy. There
you go, Elizabeth, now people can post their problems and questions
no problem and an expert or the person they need to deal with can
answer it.

Dr. McKay, Rodney

From: jsheppard@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Atlantis Message Board Now Open and Ready For Business

>>In atlantisexpedition rmckay wrote:

>Thanks to me, you're resident genius and all-round good guy. There
>you go, Elizabeth, now people can post their problems and questions
>no problem and an expert or the person they need to deal with can
>answer it.

I'm guessing this means we all have to bow to your superiour
intellect once more, oh Lord of the Geeks?

From: rmckay@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Atlantis Message Board Now Open and Ready For Business

Oh very amusing, Major. This coming from a guy who's a Moriarty wanna-
be

Dr. McKay, Rodney

From: temmagan@atlantis.sg
Subject: Am I doing this correctly?

This message board system you have appears to be a wonderous thing.
As of this moment in time, I have no problems or concerns.

From: eweir@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Atlantis Message Board Now Open and Ready For Business

Thank you, Rodney. I really appreciate this. However, I would like
for you and the major not to use this as a sparring arena.

From: eweir@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Am I doing this correctly?

As far as I know, yes, you are. You may post other things to the
group if you'd like, it isn't just for problems and concerns. I just
wanted something for everyone to have fun with, and this seemed to
kill two birds with one stone.

That's an Earth idiom meaning to do two things at once.

From: jsheppard@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Am I doing this correctly?

Why yes, Teyla, you are. *beams* You're certainly a fast learner. e-
mail me.

From: jsheppard@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Atlantis Message Board Open and Ready for Business

Moriarty wanna-be? How do you figure that?

From: rmckay@atlantis.sg
Subject: You've never read Sherlock Holmes?

Hello? Mathematical genius?

Dr. McKay, Rodney

From: eweir@atlantis.sg
Subject: Gentlemen

As I said, this is not the place for your bickering. If you want to
argue, keep it confined to an e-mail, or at least more private than
this.

You've really never read Sherlock Holmes, John?

From: rzelenka@atlantis.sg
Subject: A question

This is not to replace our regular routine, correct?

Dr. Zelenka

From: eweir@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: A question

That's right, doctor

From: jsheppard:@atlantis.sg
Subject: Moriarty

I have read Sherlock Holmes, for your information. I just don't get
the reference. There are lots of mathematical genius' out there,
McKay, and I'm not an evil criminal mastermind intent upon world
domination.

From: rmckay@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Moriarty

You could have reformed.

Dr. McKay, Rodney

From: temmagan@atlantis.sg
Subject: E-Mail?

Is that the other thing you were showing me, John?

From: jsheppard@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: E-Mail

That's the one :)

From: jsheppard@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Moriarty

How'd you know!

From: eweir@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Moriarty

Now that I think about it, I can sort of see the resemblence...I
suppose you believe you're Holmes, Rodney?

From: rmckay@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Moriarty

>>In atlantisexpedition eweir wrote

>Now that I think about it, I can sort of see the resemblence...I
>suppose you believe you're Holmes, Rodney?

Don't even get me started on how wrong that question was. For
starters, I happen to know my solar system, not to mention several
others I learned while working at the SGC. For another, the worse
druge I ever did was marijuana once in high-school as a dare. It was
terrible. I would certainly never shoot cocaine just because I was
bored.

Caffeine now...

Dr. McKay, Rodney

From: jsheppard@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Moriarty

Really? You've only ever done marijuana? And only once? I don't
know why, but you strike me as the 'wild child reformed' type. Maybe
it's all that pent-up aggression

And how come I can be Moriarty but you can't be Holmes? Oh I know,
because I could so kick your ass where the criminal mastermind and
the world's greatest detective were evenly matched.

From: cbeckett@atlantis.sg
Subject: Just a Friendly Reminder

For those of you who still have not come for your physical. I am
speaking of course to Major Sheppard and Dr. McKay. Rodney? John?
If the two of you don't get down here A.S.A-mediately I'm going to
come drag you down here by your ears. Understand? Three days of
putting this off is quite enough.

From: eweir@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Just a Friendly Reminder

And this is what this group is for. Thank you, Carson

To: jsheppard@atlantis.sg
From: temmagan@atlantis.sg
Subject: I agree

Doctors Weir and McKay do seem to stand very close to each other when
they think no one is looking. After you mentioned your observation,
I could not help but check to see for myself.

Meet me in my quarters tonight--after your physical. I do not wish
to have Doctor Beckett angry with me.

To: temmagan@atlantis.sg
From: jsheppard@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: I agree

See? They are so totally meant for each other, but refuse to admit
it. Look at how she up and agreed with McKay on the group? Not to
mention the fact that I saw them almost kissing each other in the
infirmary before I got my physical.

Well, okay, they weren't almost kissing, but it looked like it.

You're quarters? Hmm...sounds good. See you soon

From: aford@atlantis.sg
Subject: Screen names

Hey, is there any chance we can like change the screen names? I
mean, my name looks like a misspelled word for crying out loud.

~aiden

From: rmckay@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Screen names

No. No there isn't. Well, okay there is, but I'm not telling you.
There'll be too much dissension. I mean, what if someone wants the
name you've chosen? No. No changing the screen names. It's a bad
idea.

From: eweir@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Screen names

I agree that we should keep these sn's for the group and for
professionalism. However, for personal business we can have
something for ourselves, couldn't we Rodney?

To: temmagan@atlantis.sg
From: jsheppard@atlantis.sg
Subject: A bet

How much you wanna bet Rodney immediately capitulates on the screen
name thing, just because Liz asked?

To: jsheppard@atlantis.sg
From: temmagan@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: A bet

That would be a highly unfair wager, John. Besides, there is no way
of knowing it was just because Doctor Weir asked.

To: temmagan@atlantis.sg
From: jsheppard@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: A bet

You're no fun

To: jsheppard@atlantis.sg
From: temmagan@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: A bet

That is not what you told me last night

From: rmckay@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Screen names

Oh, all right. But I'll have to set up some space for separate
accounts, just in case.

Dr. McKay, Rodney

P.S. What sort of personal business?

From: eweir@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Screen names

Thank you, Rodney.

Personal business as in things that have nothing to do with the
running of this base.


------

To: eweir@atlantis.sg
From: rmckay@atlantis.sg
Subject: Dinner?

I'd come by personally and ask, but…recently uh…what's the Czech's
name again? Anyway, recently he's been asking if you and are going
out and whenever we've been seen together, he starts grinning at me
knowingly. Actually, come to think of it, he's not the only one.

To: rmckay@atlantis.sg
From: eweir@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Dinner?

That sounds lovely, Rodney. Why would they think we were dating?
We've never had more than a professional friendship. Come by at
seven. Hopefully, I'll be done with these reports by then.

To: eweir@atlantis.sg
From: rmckay@atlantis.sg
Subject: That's why I asked

I'm making sure you eat. Everybody needs to eat, even you.
Especially you.

To: rmckay@atlantis.sg
From: eweir@atlantis.sg
Subject: Fine, Dad

All right, I give in. I'll be ready at seven. Even if I'm not
finished with my reports.

To: temmagan@atlantis.sg
From: Shep@atlantis.sg
Cc: rzelenka@atlantis.sg, aford@atlantis.sg, cbeckett@atlantis.sg,
dsimpson@atlantis.sg, pgrodin@atlantis.sg
Subject: They're dating!

I saw our two friends having a nice intimate candlelit dinner in
Liz's make-shift office. They didn't actually have any candles, but
the idea is still the same. Now, why weren't we informed of this
possibility earlier eh? Zelenka, weren't you supposed to watch McKay?
And Peter? Liz was your territory. Come on people, we need to know
these things in advance.

To: Shep@atlantis.sg
From: WeaponsManiac@atlantis.sg
Subject: My New Screen Name

Do you like it sir?

Anyway, just writing to tell you that the dinner wasn't as intimate
as you thought. When they saw me walking by, they invited me in
almost immediately. We sat chatting for a while, then Dr. McKay left
to go to his lab.

To: WeaponsManiac@atlantis.sg
From: Shep@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: My New Screen Name

Yeah, Ford. It really suits you.

>Anyway, just writing to tell you that the dinner wasn't as intimate
as you thought. When they saw me walking by, they invited >me in
almost immediately. We sat chatting for a while, then Dr. McKay left
to go to his lab.

Damn it!!!!!

Actually, this is a good thing. Now, I can use my evil matchmaking
skills to bring the two of them together. Did I ever tell you I once
set up a General with my mom?

From: rmckay@atlantis.sg
Subject: New screen names

Not that some of you need this (Ford and Sheppard) but I've set it up
so that you can make your own screen names. Only one per person
available.

From: cbeckett@atlantis.sg
Subject: Possible Flu Epidemic

Unfortunately, a couple of people have caught the flu. Seeing as
we're all pretty much trapped in this city with nowhere to go, it's
likely to turn into an epidemic rather quickly. Anyone who's
experiencing the following symptoms please report to the infirmary
immediately. That means you too, Dr. Weir.

Chills
Headache
Coughing fits
Achey muscles
Trouble breathing
Runny nose
Fever
Any sort of cold symptoms

Thank you for your cooperation.

From: rmckay@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Possible Flu Epidemic

What? And you're just now telling us about this? I can't believe
you. Did you know that my great-great-great grandmother died of the
flu in childbirth? Oh man. I'm starting to get chills. I'm coming
down to the infirmary now.

From: rmckay@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Possible Flu Epidemic

Okay, those of you who were worried about me don't have to.
Apparently, I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, at least according to the
Scot. In any case, I don't have the flu. By the way, has anyone
seen Elizabeth today?

To: temmagan@atlantis.sg
From: Shep@atlantis.sg
Cc: Czech@atlantis.sg, dsimpson@atlantis.sg,
WeaponsManiac@atlantis.sg, cbeckett@atlantis.sg, pgrodin@atlantis.sg
Subject: Now I Know I Wasn't Seeing Things

You all know how no one could find Liz? Well, McKay and I went to
her quarters and she was sick. McKay picked her up and carried her
to the infirmary, and he's been there ever since. Beckett? Can you
give us more information?

To: Shep@atlantis.sg
From: cbeckett@atlantis.sg
Cc: Czech@atlantis.sg, dsimpson@atlantis.sg,
WeaponsManiac@atlantis.sg, pgrodin@atlantis.sg, temmagan@atlantis.sg
Subject: re: Now I Know I Wasn't Seeing Things

Sorry, John. But all he's doing is sleeping in the bed next to
hers. While he wasn't ill earlier, he is now. Speaking of which, I
want you down here too. As soon as possible. Like the moment you
read this. I will come and hunt you down you know.

To: Shep@atlantis.sg
From: Teyla@atlantis.sg
Subject: For When You Get Well

I have a surprise for you. Come by my quarters.

To: Shep@atlantis.sg
From: WeaponsManiac@atlantis.sg
Cc: Czech@atlantis.sg, dsimpson@atlantis.sg, temmagan@atlantis.sg,
pgrodin@atlantis.sg, cbeckett@atlantis.sg
Subject: Invitation to a Group

I figure it would be easier to continue this conversation in a group
environment. That way we didn't have to keep typing in the e-mail
addresses to be copied to. Don't tell McKay I know how to do this,
he'd probably freak. Anyway, it's private so no one but members can
even see it. (I just hope McKay doesn't check these things out) If
you find someone else who looks like a prime candidate for Major
Sheppard's Sneaky Backhanded Matchmaking Ways to Bring Dr. Weir and
Dr. McKay Together, just give them the link and make `em keep it
secret.

http://groups.atlantis.sg/group/Ancient-love/

From: WeaponsManiac@atlantis.sg
Subject: Welcome to the Group

Ancient-love is dedicated to our plan to bring Dr. Weir and Dr. McKay
together. I know the name kinda sucks, but as Major Sheppard keeps
telling me, I'm no good at naming things. Anyway, here we can post
all of our observations and ideas. Good luck!

To: eweir@atlantis.sg
From: rmckay@atlantis.sg
Subject: How are you?

I was so worried when I saw you lying there? I mean, I still feel
like crap, so I can only imagine how you're doing. I'm gonna bring
you some of my homemade chicken noodle soup. Bet you didn't know I
was a good cook as well as a genius.

To: rmckay@atlantis.sg
From: eweir@atlantis.sg
Subject: Thank you

The soup was delicious. I love a man who can cook.

To: rmckay@atlantis.sg
From: eweir@atlantis.sg
Subject: I didn't mean it like that

I didn't mean love, as in love. I meant, love as enjoy.

To: rmckay@atlantis.sg
From: eweir@atlantis.sg
Subject: Just forget it

Obviously, I'm still not feeling to well. I think I'll go to bed now.

---



I might just update this little fic tonight, since I'm in the mood for humor. Too much angst going around lately in my life.

M.A.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
murdocsangel
Mar. 15th, 2005 08:33 pm (UTC)
Why thank you :) I wrote it like back in September and it's been sitting on my hard drive ever since then :)

M.A.
ladybeth
Mar. 15th, 2005 09:29 pm (UTC)
You know, I always wanted to do one of those but I never got to doing it. But I always find them hilarious. PLease continue:)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )