murdocsangel (murdocsangel) wrote,

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Today, as I was eating my turkey sandwhich on white bread with lots of mayonaise, I realized that I have never had a real plan on where I wanted my life to end up.

I remember wanting to be a veterinarian for a short time, definitely an artist since I took so many classes, possibly a zoologist, and several others besides. I have so many interests and hobbies, some of which I'm okay at, others that I'm darn good at, but none that I'd want to do for a living.

Which is why I'm sitting here at my computer with an Associates of Applied Science in Information Technology Multimedia, but have no real job and have had to defer my loans due to financial difficulties.

My mom and grandmother want me to just get a job working at a local store, either part time or full time, but even if they paid just a dollar more than where I'm working now, and even if I got a full time job, I don't see how things would be much better. For one thing, I'd be doing what they and everyone else in my family has done for years: Settle for less than what you deserve because that's all you can do.

I don't want to settle, I want to do something that I enjoy, that I won't dread getting up each morning, or, worse, get up and, like a robot, go through all the motions, each day drifting by, the same as the day before.

The only thing is, I don't know how to get what I want, because I don't really know what I want. Sure, I can use Photoshop (and figured out how to use the GIMP yay!), Illustrator, and 3D Studio Max, but I don't really know enough to get a job...

I can type really fast too, but most jobs that that's useful for are those sorts of jobs that never have anything new or challenging, never test your brain because the bosses are afraid you might figure something out and take their position.

My artwork isn't sale quality. It's cute, and it is good, but it isn't something that people are likely to go "Oh that's amazing...I'll give you fifty bucks for it".

I suppose I could write. I enjoy it, and I know that if I were to come up with original characters, I'd have an easier time of writing for them than for say McKay or Darth Vader, because they'd be mine and no one could say they were out of character because I made 'em up.

The only problem with that is...I don't have very good plots and my descriptions leave something to be desired. With fanfiction, even if they're slightly out of character, I generally know that people are going to know what the characters look like because they will have seen them.

Yeah, I think I've rambled on enough about that stuff...

In other news, try going to a store, stand in line behind someone who looks really really uptight and say "Mastication is a necessary part of life."


Who doesn't know why she's being so melodramatic today.

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